How to Apologize

Apologizing is easier said than done.  It’s hard coming off of of our ego and having to admit that we were wrong.  There’s many things that can go wrong in an apology.  The only way to do it right is to genuinely show remorse and remain humble.  That’s only the basics though.

What if I don’t apologize and ignore it?  It’ll go away with time like all wounds do.  If you don’t apologize, you are only helping prevent the wounds from healing.  It ruins relationships with family and friends, your reputation, and your opportunities.

Why I apologize asides from religious reasons, is that I genuinely want people to know me as a humble person.  I want to grow and learn as an activist and I realize that in learning, you make mistakes.

Assess the Situation.

Look at the mistake you did.  Assess what you did wrong and why.  This is when you have to really dig into the reasons why you did what you did and why what you did was wrong.  Go ahead and grab some paper while you’re reading this.  Write down everything that happened.  Vent about it and go on about how guilt is starting to set in.

Be Authentic

You’re going to need to show remorse. This isn’t something I can help you with. I can only say that you have to be honest.  You need to be nervous and upset.  You need to use your natural accent and the words in your everyday language.  Don’t start with, “I have been in a state of despondency over the period of time.”  That isn’t you.  “Hey man, I know what I did was wrong.  I don’t know how I can make it up to you, just really hope that you know I’m really sorry.” That is you.  That is the real you.  Show your vulnerable side.  That’s what comes with apologizing.

“Apologizing is a Conversation, Not a Monologue”

The above quote is from Watch Well Cast, an amazing youtube channel offering advice.  Now, you can’t expect for the person you wronged to immediately forgive you.  Expect the person to have a conversation about what happened.  Expect some (justified) anger from the other person. That’s okay.  You apologized and if they’re still upset that’s okay. Realize that the other person owes you nothing and it’s completely okay if they don’t forgive you.  It’s not their fault and don’t get upset with them for not forgiving you.

Now to Walk the Walk

Now you have to actually go through with what you apologized. You promised you would be more caring for the person’s feelings?  Go through with it.  Do little things to help them understand that you have learned your lesson.  

I wish you luck and hope you have the courage to do the right thing.

Tala

Bibiolography

• "How to Apologize: Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully." Communication Skills Training From MindTools.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Dec. 2016.
• Http://www.Facebook.com/MannersMentor. "How to Apologize: The 7 Steps of a Sincere Apology." Manners Mentor. N.p., 2016. Web. 05 Dec. 2016.
• Watchwellcast. YouTube. YouTube, 26 Jan. 2013. Web. 05 Dec. 2016.